Archive for the ‘Celebrity pastors’ Category

photo CHARM CITY, East – This Sunday a few church members entered into their church premise with raised eye brows as they saw a new FORMULA ONE car parked in the church car park.

They soon got an answer when the church service started and their pastor gave them the simple explanation they were all waiting for.

“God told me that he wants me to be rich. He wanted me to start by making  positive confessions,” said the man of God. “So, since I have always liked high powered racing cars that I see on television so I ran and laid my hands on this Formula one car and claimed it. Uh, I intend to use it for the ministry of course .”

“I didn’t have the money to place a deposit but I didn’t have to worry – God told me to quickly sell the church organ.

(more…)

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Kimbelembele – A visiting celebrity pastor to a village church in Africa ended his Sunday sermon in an unorthodox way  this week leaving the local congregation wide eyed, bewildered with a squealing high pitched screech in their ears and a broken microphone scattered in seven different directions.

Pastor Pokoyo had just finished making his final remarks when he lifted his mic and dropped it saying, “Yo! Check this out!”

It’s not known if he did this to copy an going trend among gangster rap artists, naughty  DJs and of late (ofcourse) somebody within the White House.

For the record, the pastor didn’t get an ‘Amen’. …Read More!

Now that Cuba and America are  celebrating their new found relationship I wonder if the island nation is ready for a brand of Christianity that is not found any where in the Bible?

What if Todd Bentley (shudder) sneaks onto Air Force one and drops into Havannah? (Shudder shudder)

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Just what is this dude doing ? Performance arts? Entertainment? Circus experiment? Er, no he is in a pulpit… okay he kicked that aside to show off his outfit. 

  A prosperity gospel pastor who recently blamed the devil for blocking his dream for a 65 million dollar jet has received the best advice. Apparently the answer to his dreams was just under his nose all along says David Ravenhill the son of Leonard Ravenhill…

I’ve been thinking (says David Ravenhill) about Creflo Dollar‘s dream to upgrade his ailing jet for something better, much better, in fact. I hate to see this ‘man of God’ having to travel by way of a commercial airline, like the rest of us mere mortals.
Jesus borrowed a womb to be born, a boat to preach from, a donkey to ride on and a boy’s lunch to feed the multitude, not to mention a room for the Last Supper, etc. Aside from that, we are told “the Son of Man had nowhere to lay His head.”
But that was then and this is now!
I just can’t picture Creflo on a donkey, not when he is accustomed to driving around in his Rolls-Royce or Bentley or one of his other luxury cars. Which brings me back to how he can make his dream a reality.
The solution to his problem is simple. I can’t believe he hasn’t thought of it himself. He just needs to practice what he preaches.
Since he is a staunch advocate of the seed faith message, all he needs to do is enclose a check for thirty dollars in his next mailing to each of his seed-faith partners; then stand back and watch as the money begins pouring in. After all, as the saying goes, ‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.’ If this is a spiritual principle that works for everyone, then why doesn’t he practice what he repeatedly tells his faithful flock every week? With only a 10-fold increase he would receive $300 for every $30 he sows. That being the case, why not enclose $300 to every partner and do away with the little jet in favor of the Boeing of his choice? He could then outfit his big boy jet to accommodate his Bentley or Rolls. In that way, he doesn’t have to stoop to renting a Ford or Chevy when he arrives to wherever he’s going.
I understand his net worth is around $27 million. Not bad for a man who has learned how to fleece the flock and live high on the hog. Perhaps it’s time for him to sell all that he has and give to the poor. In that way when he gets to heaven he’ll have some treasure waiting for him. Then again he could sow his $20+ million and reap a 30, 60 or a 100-fold increase and be well on his way to becoming a billionaire.

Wow! Why that sounds so easy!! I must tell Creflo!

20140610-133246-48766700.jpgCHARM CITY, Southern – A new trend has hit the pulpits. It’s not for the faint hearted ; it’s only for the carefree pastors who want to show they have a pulse on the culture.

Coming soon to a relevant pulpit near you! …Read More!

20140609-172420-62660139.jpgCHARM CITY, Central – In typical fashion the soccer season has commenced with a bang and a popular church in the city has decided to make a bigger bang by inviting people to watch World Cup during Sunday service.

“We bought four giant 3D TV screens so that people can watch World Cup live as the sermon is going on in the pulpit. Well what more can I say?” Explained the senior pastor.

“We realised some people love soccer so much and cannot take time to attend Worship on Sundays so we decided to get this solution and make them happy. It works very well. I can’t believe we hadn’t thought of this all along.”

…Read More!