Osteen to start new sermon series on Sin and Holiness.

Posted: February 15, 2017 in News, Satire
Tags: , ,

20130910-182115.jpgNASHVILLE , Tennessee – Pastor Osteen has made an announcement that has shocked his congregation. Pinning up an impromptu notice amidst tears he explained that he has realised how prosperity gospel has wrecked many souls and confessed that it is not even the gospel. He further explained that he was going to focus more on repentance beginning this week. This news is indeed likely to have epic ramifications.

The man of God was seen preparing for a mid week Bible study with a real Bible tucked under his arm and a couple of Bible commentaries in Greek and Hebrew. Close friends say he has recently been reading old classics by the Puritans and has been spending nights awake scouring over Reformation History.

Some of the youth after hearing the announcement via social media went into panic. Some have never had to carry a Bible to church. A large section of the congregation who had threatened to leave the church had to drive at mid day on Monday to read the notice for themselves. Yes, it was truly signed by JAMES OGUBAYAWA OSTEEN!

The Floating Axehead can neither confirm nor deny what is going on but will continue to pray that many pastors would take their Bibles seriously…like James!

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