Returning Brazilian church member made to pay up ten years of back dated tithes

Posted: February 11, 2017 in News, Satire
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soccerSAO PAULO, Brazil – A Brazilian soccer player returning from Scotland after spending over ten years away from his church was irked to receive an letter from his local church demanding he pays up his tithes. Well not only his tithe for the month but back dated ones for the last ten years! Keffa Dolarinho is a member of the Universal Church of the Apostles of God that discovered a little known verse in the New Testament that commands Christians to obey God by tithing (and back dated tithing).

Mr Dolarinho was hastily reminded by the elders of how God never forgets his debts and if he wanted to appease the God who had brought him back from “pagan lands” then he would have to comply.

Pleading in Portuguese he begged for mercy but was told to pay up or put up. Apparently the church has a law enforcement arm that deals with non tithers.

When contacted by The Floating Axehead Keffa Dolarinho coyly replied (while looking at his wrists) that he had indeed been made to “joyfully pay up” lest God would not bless him. With a grimace as he turned to get back into his house he added that another little known New Testament verse commanding Christians to be circumcised had just been discovered by the elders.

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