The church where no one (not even the pastor) bothers to remember the sermon

Posted: February 7, 2017 in Christianity, Satire
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torn bibleSEOUL, South Korea – This month marked a special occasion for two Christan brothers. Kim and Jong are two brothers in their late twenties who got to meet once again at a family reunion after being separated for the last fifteen years.

Kim lives in North Korea; a place where Christians are persecuted and being found with a Bible could cause you to be taken to a concentration camp. Jong on the other hand lives in Seoul, the largest urban metropolis of South Korea.

On Sunday as the two brothers prepared to go to church, Kim recounted how they usually have to memorise whole pages of torn and worn-out Bible texts that have been handed down from house to house and hand to hand.

“I still don’t own a full Bible but have a page from the book Romans,” quipped Kim as they finally reached Jong’s church.

The first scene of the church service took the visitor completely by surprise.

It sure didn’t look like there was any order in what was going on. There were Bibles with pages strewn, ripped and being trodden on across the floor by raving teenagers and ushers. There were people rolling on the floor both near the pulpit and in the aisles. A woman under one bench was wheezing and had a self bemused smile as she waned in and out of a trace-like state.  The pastor had his head in a flower vase and seemed to be in a stupor. His wife  beckoned to the new comers to join in whispering to them that the ‘Holy Ghost’ had taken over the service and every one was drinking ‘a new wine’ from heaven.

Six hours later. The pastor coughed and seemed to rouse from his slumber. As he staggered down the congested aisle, Kim run out to him and asked him if he had prepared a sermon for the day.

“Er, well we have finished the service! I usually just let the Holy Ghost do his thing. Oh, don’t you like it when the anointing falls down and takes over?” asked the man of God as he slurred his words. “But you have asked a good question. I actually don’t remember what my sermon for today was supposed to be.  Neither do I remember what I preached last week but hey can I show you how to get drunk with the anointing?”

Kim meekly replied, “Dude, just give us your Bibles. You guys have real issues!”

The Floating Axehead is contemplating walking into Pyongyang airport in North Korea with a Bible to verify all these tales and rumors.


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