African Pastor trying to imitate (Zip Lining Church Entrance) breaks leg.

Posted: February 6, 2017 in Christianity, Satire
Tags: , , , , , ,

ZIP lining in churchLUSAKA, Zambia – An African pastor of Acquire the Fire and Rain Church of God who was trying to increase his popularity by proving he is relevant ended up getting a ride to the local hospital.  Pastor Odulu says he had watched an American televangelist successfully ride a zip line to the pulpit in a Youtube clip the night before. Waking up early that morning he says he left his bible at home and rushed to set up a make shift zip line connecting the Sunday school section to the main church pulpit. His main mistake he thinks was that he had under estimated how much agility it would require to remain airbourne.

The adventurous man of God was cheered on by shrieking youths. It is not known if Pastor Odulu had been emboldened by Televangelist Rod Parsley’s recent zip line church antic. However his excitement was cut short by a resounding thud as Odulu fell under his own weight from about 10 feet in the air onto the muddy African floor breaking  three clay water pots and his left leg.

Speaking from his hospital bed the man of God vows he will search Youtube for an easier stunt next time. When asked if he had a sermon for that day Mr Odulu coyly smiled and answered, “You need to attract people with entertainment these days. It is like fishing – you have to lure people with something exciting and they will come to church. My church doesn’t like listening to Bible teachings so I decided to change to be cool. Sometimes a good exciting story line just warms the heart where the gospel cannot.”

Unreliable sources told The Floating Axehead that another pastor was mauled by a hyena in a church side office in Lusaka. It is said the man of God was trying a more “exciting and relevant” entrance theme. It could all just be tongue in cheek!

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