Church vacancy: Chief Armor Bearer wanted!

Posted: February 5, 2017 in Christianity, News, Satire
Tags: , ,

WARSAW, Poland – After returning from his week long visit across the pacific Pastor Valterovich returned to his church in Poland with  some novel ideas. Seeing that most American pastors now have a new biblical office -the pastor’s ‘chief armor bearer’ he put out an advert.

Guard-with-ear-pieceWANTED: Pastor’s Chief Armor bearer

  • Should be atleast six feet tall. Have a chest as wide as a wardrobe.
  • Should have experience in using earpieces and tasers.
  • Should be able to carry pastor’s iPad, laptop, Bible and anointed handkerchief to the pulpit.

One pensioner who saw the advert asked the man of God if this office was biblical. He was duly reminded that he was being a pharisee and will be thrown under the bus if he interfered with the pastor’s vision. The Floating Axehead contacted the church but a mono tone automated voice referred the team to Lamentations 3:16.


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