Mega church invests $7.4 million into video games for Sunday school

Posted: August 29, 2014 in Church growth methods, Pastors gone wild, Satire
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CITY, East – An urban church in the city has pumped over $7 million into video games that will go to keep children entertained on Sunday mornings.

Speaking to reporters this week the pastor of the mega church explained:

“We are a pragmatic church and we just realised that if we bought the best video games and toys in town then kids will like coming to church. They will say ‘wow, this is where I want to be mom and dad…right here in church!’

“The adults are currently going through movie sermon series. As we wait for the next Summer block buster movie so that we can see what message God has for us. In the meantime we decided to bless the children’s department with this surprise.”

It is said the church may quadruple its attendance numbers by the end of the year. In a 5 year estimate drawn by church marketing experts it is estimated that there will be astronomical growth.

When asked how the church will deal with winter season.

“Yeah, we know winter is a difficult time so we will tell the adults that if they come back to church with their kids during winter then we will give them free iPads or flat screen televisions. If that doesn’t work out our creative team will have to pull off all stops and start giving out cars or houses. We just have to keep them coming, man!”

The Floating Axehead will keep you up to date with any developments right here if we can keep up with the pace.


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