First ever ‘interfaith and interdenominational’ church advertizes most lucrative pastor’s position

Posted: August 18, 2014 in Church growth methods, Pastors gone wild
Tags: , ,

advertSouthern, City – The news in the city is that the first ever ‘interfaith and interdenominational’ church has released requirements for it’s senior pastor’s position. If your pastor doesn’t turn up this Sunday, chances are that he may have gone over to ‘have a look’.

The lucrative job requirements are simply:

  • The Pastor must be able to preach from any holy book and encourage the church.
  • The Pastor doesn’t have to have any Bible knowledge but MUST BE FUNNY. Ability to do stand up comedy is a major bonus!
  • The Pastor must be all inclusive in his sermons and not introduce decisive teachings on ‘sin or righteousness or judgement of God’. This clause in the contract will not be taken lightly if ANY MEMBER OR WOULD BE MEMBER of the congregation makes a formal complaint or even hints informally.
  • The Pastor must be able to emphasize that the church is all about just loving God and not about doctrine.
  • On gender and sexuality – don’t ask don’t tell.
  • Must be able to start immediately.

Other skills that may be advantageous to applicants:

  • Ventriloquism

PS: The monthly package will be an astronomical and mouth watering eleven figure amount subject to monthly increments (plus 3 monthly Caribbean kick back holidays or two weekly Mediterranean cruises as addons apart from the 90 day annual leave.

APPLICANTS MUST APPLY IMMEDIATELY AS ADVERT CLOSES AFTER FIRST 5 SUITABLE CANDIDATES ARE SELECTED!!!!!!

Applications to be sent to: City Church (sorry link may be down due to high traffic to website but keep trying!)

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