Pastor cancels sunday service after teleprompter jams mid sentence

Posted: October 2, 2013 in Christianity, Satire
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TeleprompterCHARM CITY, Wisconsin – A church service ended with a twist last Sunday. A young pastor known to always surprise his congregation with new innovations and technological wizardry was left speechless for once. The pulpit that was adorned with the latest state of the art teleprompter immediately came to life as he stepped to the pulpit. With a big smile he started his sermon…

“It was the great theologian Whitney Houston who said…” blurted the suave pastor. However he stopped almost immediately and had a blank quizzical stare. The machines whirred and scrambled a distressed groan and before you could even sneeze, the electronic teleprompter went blank!

“Er, did he just say ‘the great theologian George Whitefield’?” asked a man in the back row as he broke the silence.

“No, I think he actually said ‘Huston, we have a problem!'” retorted a deacon on his right.

“Bah! He definitely mentioned ‘Oprah Winfrey’!” corrected a lady at the end of the pew near a loud speaker.

There was a loud murmur as the congregation shifted uneasily. Had they all heard right? What exactly did the pastor say?

“Er, I am sorry but the sermon for today has just been deleted from the hard drive and I can’t remember what I had prepared for today. My new teleprompter has had a technical glitch. So, that’s it folks!” announced the man of God as he hurriedly scampered off from the pulpit.

Surprising as it was, the Sunday service had to be adjourned. When contacted by The Floating Axehead the embarrassed pastor admitted he had relied too much on his new gadgets and resolved he will go back to old school tactics and hand write his sermons next time and keep the notes in his Bible.

Well, when pressed on which theologian he was actually quoting, the young man sheepishly smiled and mumbled, “I don’t remember I actually downloaded that sermon in the morning from the internet using an expensive app!”


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