Church sets own building on fire trying to recreate ACTS 2 PENTECOST

Posted: September 27, 2013 in Christianity, Satire
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WINBURG – A church building got razed to the ground when an over night “revival” service got out of hand. The local congregation had gathered to recreate the events of Acts chapter two when the Holy Spirit descended onto the early church.

“We wanted to recreate that same feeling that the disciples had in Acts. We had waited for revival but saw none, so we decided to create our own revival!” said the pastor.

After generating a spark from some electric cables a flame quickly engulfed the pulpit. To a rapturous chorus of cheers and chants of “we want fire now!” a few hymn books were thrown into the flame. Undeterred but now visibly excited the pastor threw his Bible into the growing flame as he asked if any one else was going to step into this new experience with him. More bibles flapped into the now mammoth blaze!

The frenzy was fever pitch when the combustible flame engulfed the ceiling and quickly licked up the walls. The building was glowing RED!

“Wheeeeew! Boom shaka la ka! This is the real deal!” cried a young man as the blistering heat micro waved off his eye brows.

The congregation began to sing and dance. How close to heaven they now felt! Vivid colours of crimson molten metal were just like the first banisters leading to the proverbial streets of gold.

“And now we will turn on the fans to blow like a mighty rushing wind-d!” cried the inebriated pastor as he started slurring his words possibly from the spreading cloud of carbon monoxide fumes.

When the first drops of water came falling down on them no one had anticipated that un amused sleepless neighbours would call in fire fighters to put out their folly. It was therefore not surprising that many refused to even be rescued from the burning building lest they missed the “anointing in the fire”.

The Floating Axehead will find out if there were any casualties from this unfortunate event. Once again, not every “boom Shaka la ka!” is biblical, not every “revival” is a revival.

Hmmm….strange fire!

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